A prisoner of my own mind…i was broken and fragile before Him. Locked in a room that I had no escape from. Darkness surrounded me, chains forged by hurt and lies from those who promised to love and desired to protect me. Bitter and hurt i become comfortable with being alone in the darkness. Until He came…i fought fiercely to protect myself from this intrusion into the solitude i had built for myself. Not wanting to be found or rescued, to become lost within unfulfilled promises. He did not run from my darkness, but shared it with me. He grew comfortable with my demons. No longer was the darkness my weakness, it was now my strength. Over time He broke the chains that held me. He was the first one who ever accepted what i was and who wanted to tame it. Control it. Play with it. Never trying to change me, but teaching me to let it grow. By His side i became a Queen, strong and powerful and in control of myself for once. All He asked was submission to Him and no other. To give to Him what i lost before. Trust, my mind, my body. To open myself to Him and be His above all others. It was a simple price to pay to find my place, to belong. No longer was i held back by the thoughts i once had, of inadequacy, of paranoia, overthinking. Letting myself go, letting Him take control of me i found what i was missing. My Master, my King, my Protector. The chains i wear now are gilded and worn by choice. i serve willingly and eagerly the one who rescued me.i have fear by His side. He has taken me from a prisoner to a Queen.
i have never found it hard to talk to my vanilla friends about my lifestyle. i am not sure whether that just means that i have friends who are very understanding. Or they don’t tell me what they really feel. i do not hide who i am or what i like and don’t really mind talking about it ( obviously). even some of my co-workers know about my lifestyle ( i also work with my Master). At first they think that i was influenced by certain books **cough cough** but i politely explain to them what it is i look for and what Master requires of me. More often than not i find out that they share similar interests but prefer to keep them confined to the bedroom where as i engage in it all the time.
i have yet to meet anyone who has been put off or disturbed by what i tell them. They tend to be very curious. One thing that i have noticed though is that some of my male friends and acquaintances seem to think its ok to issue commands or demand that i do as they tell me because i am a submissive. Never is this ok. And this makes me mad to no end. Just because i obey ONE man does not mean i will obey any man. I choose to obey my Master and it took me a long time to get to a point where i met someone i trusted enough to take control for me. And when people assume that i will just bow down to them just because they tell me too ….it shows a lack of respect for me and my Master. If you disrespect one you disrespect the other. Thankfully though this does not happen often.
My vanilla friends always ask me why i am a submissive, when did i know, how did i choose Master. It is sometimes hard to answer them and explain to them the needs i have or my desires ( especially when they border on violent or aggressive). i didn’t choose my Master so much as i realized He was the one i had been waiting for, to give myself to.
Not everyone will understand your lifestyle choice and that’s ok. Unfortunately there is still so much stigma surrounding BDSM. Too many people assume it is a world of torture or abnormalities. When talking to your friends or family ( should you choose to ) it is important to clarify what being a submissive means to you. It is not necessary to go into details about your actual sex life (unless you feel the need to ). Explain why you chose to pursue that lifestyle, how it makes you feel, what aspects interest you. The most common question I get is why? Why I allow someone to control me, hurt me. I explain to them that my Dom doesn’t hurt me in the same way that they think He does. The pain he inflicts as punishment is within the boundaries of what I can handle and is never used without reason. I gain pleasure from it and my Dom knows this. He is controlled in everything that He does to me. And in return I serve Him and allow Him to take charge.
Be open to questions ( you will get a lot of them) and dont be upset by their reactions. This is a taboo world you have entered and not everyone will be able to accept that
I think my biggest suggestion for someone who wants to open up to their vanilla friends about their lifestyle is to be proud of who you are and not to be ashamed at all. Be open to questions and do not be offended if they seem shocked.
Toys can be sooo much fun in the bedroom, and there is such a large selection to choose from now. I have listed my five favorite toys; some are very simple. What are your favorite toys ?
- The Snorro: a small purple vibrator that can double as a cock ring as well 😉 i have mentioned this toy before and i have to say this is probably my favorite vibrator ever. Small and with numerous speeds it is also water proof and usb rechargeable. The cord that is used to turn into a cock ring is flexible and more safe than a rigid cock ring as the cord can be cut in emergency situations. if i was only allowed to use one toy for the rest of my life i would choose this one.
2. Japanese Silk Rope: this is a great tool for making rope body harnesses or to make sure that i cannot move when Master decides to tie me down and use me. It is soft and not too abrasive on the hands and wrists. They come in numerous colors and lengths. The one i am showing here is enough to make a rope harness for a woman who is almost 6 ft tall.
3. XO Leather riding crop: My absolute favorite tool for punishment. It is made of leather and on either side of the flat leather part is an “X” or an “O” made out of small silver studs. Contact against bare skin leaves behind an impression of the letter. Put it in the freezer before use for a little added sting. I prefer crops to whips and this one is the best for spankings.
4. Massage Oil/ Edible Lube candles
These are a lot of fun and can make anyone hot and bothered. The was melts into edible massage oil and lube in a variety of flavors. Master likes to pour the hot wax on as punishment and then uses the oil to massage any sore or chaffed areas after a rough session.
5. Ben Wa Balls: these are inserted into the vagina similarly to a tampon and help strengthen kegel muscles. It is interesting sensation to be wearing them all day running errands and can create a powerful feeling while used during intercourse. They come in various sizes for different levels of experience and some come with a small string so that they can be removed easily.
I would like some of my followers and fellow bloggers to take the opportunity and post links to their blogs here, or to submit erotica or advice.
You can submit posts and links here: firstname.lastname@example.org
I will review and approve submissions and post them here 🙂
thank you to everyone who has supported me so far…….stay kinky !
There are so many reasons why i love being with my Master, and why i love being His submissive. i am able to be myself with Him, more than i ever have been with anyone else. i don’t have to worry about hiding my darkest desires or fantasies from Him, and nothing ever really disturbs Him.Here is my list of reasons why i love being with Him….
- Nothing is really too complicated with Him. We are how we are and that’s it. We are lovers and life partners. We are also Master and Pet. It is not always easy and sometimes we are unsure but never is it complicated or hard to be in a relationship with each other. We fit well together and feed off each other.
- He never tries or wants to change who i am. i can be belligerent, short-tempered, moody and aggressive at times. i can also be flakey and closed off from everyone. i am over the top at times and hyper. And He loves every aspect of who i am.
- He will never hurt me ( unless i ask Him to). not just physically either. He is alwaths careful with what He says or does. He never gives me a reason to doubt that He loves me and needs me in His life. And if we fight He never goes for the easy attacks.
- He brings out a side of me that has not had a chance to thrive. As His pet He has allowed me the chance to become what i need to be to be fulfilled and satisfied. When i am with Him i become this nasty, dirty, slut. His nympho, to be used and abused by Him over and over again. He makes me want to do things i never thought i would ever do. i have always been aware my sexuality and my preferences, but Master takes them to new extremes.
- He is an amazing lover. He is sensitive and patient and caring. But he is also rough, and wild and seems to get lost in the act as much as i do. He is incredibly thorough and thrives on giving me pleasure and giving me orgasm over after orgasm no matter how long it may take. That’s how he gets His pleasure. The sound of his breathe quickening while i suck His cock. How he grabs my hips and holds me down when He thrusts into me. Not to mention how He looks at me like He could just devour me whenever He sees me naked. The feeling of His beard against my skin as He kisses my neck, stomach, the inside of my thighs….and how after everything He holds me close, and makes sure that i am ok and taken care of.
- He is a romantic at heart. Under his tough, manly exterior He is gentle and thoughtful.
- He is my best friend, my rock, He is my everything.
Hello All, I do apologize for my absence recently . As I am sure that you all have noticed I am working on updating my site and adding new content. I would like to have a “Your Stories ” where people who follow me can send in their stories about entering the lifestyles, how they came to get involved. When they knew that they were, how they met their partners etc. If you would like to submit your story please send it to : email@example.com
My oh my what a weekend ! Master took me to a convention here allll about sex. I nearly had an overload of wanting to do everything and see everything. I was thrilled to be able to get in touch with a community group that promotes safe environments for people engaging in all types of alternative sexual preferences. They even have classes and a library to learn more. We decided to get a membership for the year so that we can engage in private parties and events. Master is very excited, they have a cross that you can use on stage. I was over whelmed with all the toys there were. Particularly the custom furniture for punishment of a submissive. And there was virtual porn too…i like to call it cockulus rift…hahahhaha. I got spoiled with new toys from Master…keigel balls, candles that are massage oil, and a slew of new vibrators. All the shows and vendors got us in the mood. And Master punished me for teasing Him all day……;)
Sorry I have been away for a little while. There is a lot on my plate and me and Master have been caught up with work and schooling and personal things. But after the holidays I will be back and posting at least 3 times a week. Everyone can send me messages or suggestions for posts you would like to see me write. Dont hesitate to send me questions either I am open and willing to talk about pretty much anything. Also if you have Twitter and Facebook let me know! I will send you requests, start following you, I ask you do the same.
Happy Holidays to Everyone lots of love and kink to all of you ! *muah*
Yesterday marked 1 year since me and Master became official. Not as Master and sub but as a couple. It has been an interesting journey so far that is for sure.
He is an incredible man and i couldnt imagine my life without anyone but Him. Not only is he an amazing life partner, caring and generous and supportive of everything i want to do, but those same qualities manifest themselves in His role as my Master as well. He never pushes me harder than my limits, even when i think i can be pushed. He is understanding of my needs and wants and is careful to make sure that they are met at all times when together.
When i mentioned i wanted to begin a blog about our journey together He was excited and urged me to pursue it, and continues to encourage me
even when i doubt myself ( which happens a lot).
As i have mentioned before i am not the easiest person to get along with. i am stubborn and sometimes aggressive. i have a temper and attitude
that others have found unsavoury. But Master is never deterred, He calls me His Irish Spitfire. Even when i have no reason to be mad or upset with
Him he never snaps back or gets angry in return. He tries to understand and help me get to the root of everything, and for that i will be eternally grateful.
I am so excited to be able to build a life with Him, a future with just the two of us, and everything we want to do together.
I love Him more than i ever thought i could and sometimes that scares me. But i know he loves me just as much and will always
protect me and keep me from harm. Not just as my Master but as the love of my life as well.
Happy Anniversary Master, je t’aime.
Pulling out He laid me on my stomach and forced my legs apart and wrapped His hands around my throat, He began to move quicker. ” You’re my dirty slut aren’t you, only good for being fucked aren’t you?”.
“Yes, yes Master. Please…I need to cum”. The moment He said Yes I climaxed, pushing myself against Him needing Him, needing to please Him. Pulling on my hair He came, biting my neck and holding me down. I could barely catch my breath and I was sore from Him using me like that.
He sprawled out onto His back and pulled me close to Him caressing my hair and body. I was aching and raw and I still wanted HIm, so much. It didn’t seem possible to need someone this badly. He continued touching me, kissing me. Fondling my breasts and grabbing my hips he was able to make me desperate again for Him. I noticed He was growing hard for me again. Once again He rolled on top of me and entered me. The pain was sharp and I wasn’t sure if i could keep at it. “Your hurting me, you’re too big”. He paused and looked at me…”If you can’t use the safe word. Im going to fuck you while your sore and still trembling.” I dont know why that turned me on so much but I didnt protest too much after that. We were both so urgent for each other. He pushed my legs against my chest forcing Himself even more into me. I had never felt anything like this before, He w as hitting spots that I hadnt even thought He could. The pleasure was so intense. He came shortly after, and I began to sob. “Hush kitten, come here”. He took me into His arms. The pleasure and release had been so intense I couldnt help myself. But laying there with Him holding me, soothing me, I knew I didnt want it any other way. I had never felt something like this ever before.
Later, laying in bed for the night we began discussing fantasies and major turn ons for ourselves. I told Him what i would do if i had my own pets, how i would let them watch as He fucked me and make them clean up after, never allowing them to have the satisfaction of Him fucking them. I could tell He liked what i was telling Him. He began stroking His cock, groping my breasts as He did so. Without saying anything i grabbed one of my vibrators and laid with my face down and my ass up and began playing with myself. Each gasp and moan I let out seemed to drive Him even more crazy for me. He knealed behind me as He continued to jerk off, massaging my ass. Minutes later I could feel His cum cascacding down my ass and onto my back. He rubbed it all over with His cock, leaving me wet and sticky and sore …..and wanting to do it again.