Once you have made a decision to become a submissive and enter into a relationship with a Dom it is important to establish what you both want in the relationship.
The number one most important thing to remember is CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT. You need to be made aware of what you are agreeing to and what being His submissive will entail. If you want to be hog tied covered in honey and hit with a cattle prod fine. As long as you agree to it. Contracts are usually the most common form of insuring boundaries and rules are followed. Too often submission is mistaken for being a doormat. You are allowed to say no.
Whether you are in a committed relationship with your Dom like I am or it is a casual arrangement where you are not the only one it is imperative that you look out for yourself. First and foremost you need to enjoy yourself as well. This is as much about your pleasure as it is his/hers. A Dominant knows that by allowing them total control over you and your pleasure you are giving them a great deal of power. But they are giving you power too. It takes a great deal of self-control to be a Dom. To be able to reign in ones urges and instincts in a session ( although it is fun to let them come out). In order to ensure your safety they must be in control at all times and aware of how things are playing out. AT NO POINT SHOULD YOU BE FEARFUL OF YOUR MASTER. More often than not a Dom puts their pleasure second to yours to guarantee a safe session. This can be extremely difficult especially if the submissive is unaware of how hard she/ he is being used or if they are not sure of their pain tolerance/ limits. These are often known as hard limits and your Dom should never try and surpass these. And despite what you may think, everyone has them.
My Master has had to stop several sessions because I could not tell that I was bleeding and chaffed from the restraints or I wasn’t breathing properly. If at any point your Dom ignores this, does not respect the safe word or refuses to respect your boundaries it is vital that you leave immediately. There is no joy in being with someone who is abusive and who doesn’t recognize what a valuable gift you are giving them.A Dom gets their pleasure from controlling yours, not withholding it.
You are their prize/ trophy, you should be treated as such. Anytime a session involves pain or discipline there needs to be a period of time when your Dom attends to you. Whether that means massaging your arms and legs where the restraints were, to applying a balm to areas inflamed by spanking or paddling. It is important that you are looked after.
Discuss boundaries before getting involved in anything. It is not a free for all for your Master to do as they please whenever they please. Communicate what it is you are looking for from this relationship and find out what they want as well. My Master knows that I dislike any form of public humiliation and so my punishments are carried out once we are home. I enjoy the anticipation of waiting to be disciplined by Him and it makes it that much more pleasurable. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. You need to discover what you like and dislike. Your Dom should respect this and follow it.
***** This is my opinion and what I think is important. Communication and respect is the biggest thing to look for*****