i have never found it hard to talk to my vanilla friends about my lifestyle. i am not sure whether that just means that i have friends who are very understanding. Or they don’t tell me what they really feel. i do not hide who i am or what i like and don’t really mind talking about it ( obviously). even some of my co-workers know about my lifestyle ( i also work with my Master). At first they think that i was influenced by certain books **cough cough** but i politely explain to them what it is i look for and what Master requires of me. More often than not i find out that they share similar interests but prefer to keep them confined to the bedroom where as i engage in it all the time.
i have yet to meet anyone who has been put off or disturbed by what i tell them. They tend to be very curious. One thing that i have noticed though is that some of my male friends and acquaintances seem to think its ok to issue commands or demand that i do as they tell me because i am a submissive. Never is this ok. And this makes me mad to no end. Just because i obey ONE man does not mean i will obey any man. I choose to obey my Master and it took me a long time to get to a point where i met someone i trusted enough to take control for me. And when people assume that i will just bow down to them just because they tell me too ….it shows a lack of respect for me and my Master. If you disrespect one you disrespect the other. Thankfully though this does not happen often.
My vanilla friends always ask me why i am a submissive, when did i know, how did i choose Master. It is sometimes hard to answer them and explain to them the needs i have or my desires ( especially when they border on violent or aggressive). i didn’t choose my Master so much as i realized He was the one i had been waiting for, to give myself to.
Not everyone will understand your lifestyle choice and that’s ok. Unfortunately there is still so much stigma surrounding BDSM. Too many people assume it is a world of torture or abnormalities. When talking to your friends or family ( should you choose to ) it is important to clarify what being a submissive means to you. It is not necessary to go into details about your actual sex life (unless you feel the need to ). Explain why you chose to pursue that lifestyle, how it makes you feel, what aspects interest you. The most common question I get is why? Why I allow someone to control me, hurt me. I explain to them that my Dom doesn’t hurt me in the same way that they think He does. The pain he inflicts as punishment is within the boundaries of what I can handle and is never used without reason. I gain pleasure from it and my Dom knows this. He is controlled in everything that He does to me. And in return I serve Him and allow Him to take charge.
Be open to questions ( you will get a lot of them) and dont be upset by their reactions. This is a taboo world you have entered and not everyone will be able to accept that
I think my biggest suggestion for someone who wants to open up to their vanilla friends about their lifestyle is to be proud of who you are and not to be ashamed at all. Be open to questions and do not be offended if they seem shocked.