My Favorite Toys

Toys can be sooo much fun in the bedroom, and there is such a large selection to choose from now. I have listed my five favorite toys; some are very simple. What are your favorite toys ?

  1. The Snorro: a small purple vibrator that can double as a cock ring as well 😉 i have mentioned this toy before and i have to say this is probably my favorite vibrator ever. Small and with numerous speeds it is also water proof and usb rechargeable. The cord that is used to turn into a cock ring is flexible and more safe than a rigid cock ring as the cord can be cut in emergency situations. if i was only allowed to use one toy for the rest of my life i would choose this one.

2. Japanese Silk Rope: this is a great tool for making rope body harnesses or to make sure that i cannot move when Master decides to tie me down and use me. It is soft and not too abrasive on the hands and wrists. They come in numerous colors and lengths. The one i am showing here is enough to make a rope harness for a woman who is almost 6 ft tall.

3. XO Leather riding crop: My absolute favorite tool for punishment. It is made of leather and on either side of the flat leather part is an “X” or an “O” made out of small silver studs. Contact against bare skin leaves behind an impression of the letter. Put it in the freezer before use for a little added sting. I prefer crops to whips and this one is the best for spankings.

4. Massage Oil/ Edible Lube candles

These are a lot of fun and can make anyone hot and bothered. The was melts into edible massage oil and lube in a variety of flavors. Master likes to pour the hot wax on as punishment and then uses the oil to massage any sore or chaffed areas after a rough session.

5. Ben Wa Balls: these are inserted into the vagina similarly to a tampon and help strengthen kegel muscles. It is interesting sensation to be wearing them all day running errands and can create a powerful feeling while used during intercourse. They come in various sizes for different levels of experience and some come with a small string so that they can be removed easily.

Submissive Choices

https://www.kinkly.com/2/8188/sex-tips/bdsm/what-kind-of-submissive-are-you

I happened upon this the other day when i was looking up different types of submissives and definitions. I can tell you that this is not a comprehensive or complete list, but it is a good starting point to understand yourself and your preferences.  I know that i identify partly as a romantic submissive. so while i am devoted and obey Master, and focus on His pleasure it is because i love Him and i do it out of affection and adoration. And a lot of our interactions are based on that. At the same time i also identify with some of aspects of the “slave ” submissives as well. It can create a very interesting dynamic..least for me. I encourage everyone to look into the types of submissives, but dont label yourself as one thing or another. Find different aspects that you like from all of them or only one. Enjoy your kinks 🙂 Get your nasty on

I am who I am

I lay secure to the bed. Arms and legs fastened to each of the four corners. I have a little give with the ropes but not much. Laying there naked and waiting i realize this why i chose to be a sub. To give control of my pleasure to another. I can hear Master walking around the room admiring me, letting the anticipation build. It is these few minutes where i find myself. I listen to the rise and fall of my breathing, i feel myself trembling, waiting for his touch never knowing when i will be graced with the feel of his hands on my body. I am in my own world while i wait to serve Him. I realize that for the first time i have found my place. It is as his play thing, his toy, his “pet”. Everything before this meant nothing. There was no connection as strong as the one I have with my Master. These moments alone allow me to serve Him better and to serve myself. It is an awakening. I continue to wait;anxious and a little nervous but excited… so excited. Continue reading

Under Control

Domination = Rough

This is not always true. When one hears the word domination/ submission in the context of BDSM it is most commonly associated with the rough grab you by the neck face down and ass up fucking ( which lets be frank is amazing). But to dominate does not always mean to be rough and aggressive. Control can come in many forms. It can be as simple as a look or brief touch.
Different situations call for different approaches. Master most commonly uses touch to put me in my place. A hand on the back of my neck and a squeeze is all it takes for me to know that i am in trouble. His hand running down my back, barely touching me is enough to send shivers down my spine and let me know that i belong to Him.
Touch is his way of controlling me. Laying in bed at night his hands caress my thighs, my neck and back. Lips on my throat and neck.
His fingers barely brushing my panties….stroking and teasing for what seems like forever. Then finally getting me to the point where i am soaking wet and begging, panting, screaming for Him to use me anyway that HE demands or wants. That’s how he shows his control. And He doesn’t need to tie me down or restrain me to get me to listen. Just the threat of Him stopping is enough to put me on my best behavior.

Out in public he rarely leaves me by myself and is always touching me somehow. Holding my hand, arm around my waist. Not only does he let me
know who i belong to but he makes damn sure that everyone else knows.
He is my wolf, i His kitten. And while he protects me and adores me He knows how to make me do anything and everything he wants..with little to no effort. He dominates my mind as well as my body. i am always thinking of ways to please Him make Him happy, perform for Him.

How does your Master/ Dom control you?

Discovering Myself

When i first started to realize that i was extremely turned on by the idea of a BDSM relationship, of being spanked and tied up, completely at the mercy of my partner i thought something was wrong with me. where as other teen girls were appalled at the idea of being tied up and left to the devices of the villain in novels, i was aroused. i didn’t know what to think of this. i would never condone forcing anyone to do something they are not agreeable to ( sex, touching etc) but the thought of this happening to me peaked my interests. i would often fantasize about being caught in a gym locker room by a team of randy Rugby players and being forced to serve them in anyway imaginable ( to be clear i would never do this in real life but the fantasy has always turned me on). When i began to have sex i quickly noticed that a lot of guys seemed to be intimidated by the idea of being dominant and taking charge. When i would beg for them to take what was theirs, to show me who i belonged to they would timidly smack my ass or pull my hair. Needless to say i was left wanting, unhappy. i would put what i wanted on the back burner because it was convenient.

When i began my relationship with my Master he made sure to discuss what i wanted, what i liked. the sex that we began to have was insane and i finally felt fulfilled. the first time i was hit with a paddle my whole body felt like it was on fire and i was more turned on then i had ever been before. Wearing a collar and leash made me crazy for Him. Making Him happy made me happy, Him controlling my pleasure and the pain was amazing. He would take what was His, owning me, controlling me, but never forcing me to change who i was. i would beg to be His slut, His plaything and he would gladly oblige.

For the first time in forever ( cliche i know) i actually was satisfied with sex and my partner. My needs were and always are met, and i am never left wanting.

My Hardest Moments…

i was asked earlier today what the hardest time for me as a submissive was. this is a complex answer for me. if we are talking about one event
specifically it would have to be after my dad passed away. i was in a dark and very lonely place and i could not find any reason to be a perfect submissive to my Master when i couldn’t even control my own emotions. i was under a great deal of stress and was always tired and irritated. if i had tried to be His submissive, His pet i think i would have ended up resenting Him. Being the amazing man that He is he
understood this and stepped up to take care of me even more so. My dad was the rock in my life and Master easily took on the role for me.
To be honest i don’t know how i would have managed without Him. We are now starting to get back into the swing of things and i am more eager than ever to serve because He took the time to make sure i was in the right mental state to be able to assume my roles and for that i am so grateful. He never once demanded of me something i could not give.

In a more general sense at least once a week i find it hard to be a submissive. Some days i am too tired or too stressed to want to cater
to Him. Other days i have body issues and so the last thing i want to do is squeeze into skimpy lingerie ( i went from 220pds to 130 in the past few years). And sometimes i just want to be alone with my bf and do average couple things. Master knows this and so those days He makes sure to pay a little more attention
to me or to treat me to something i really like ( this usually involves a very long session of Him going down on me 😉

It will always be a battle between what you want and don’t want. I’m not going to lie. Some days you will be mad at Him or want to
punish Him. Communication. Communicate to Him how you feel. Make sure you have an open dialogue. Plan to take one day that you
both put your roles aside. Decide together.

Hopefully this was insightful to my lovely kittens, princesses, littles and pets 🙂 and thank you to Mrs. A for suggesting this 🙂

I need Him….I am His

Being a submissive is a funny thing. I essentially am going against everything I was taught and everything society tells women. Think about it
we are told we do not need a man to do anything. We can take care of ourselves, we are strong, fierce and independent. Loathe the man who
wants to take care of us, shelter us, or control us. And yet…that is exactly why i chose to be sub. i have always craved being taken care
of, to have someone who loves me and cares for me enough to want to protect me and look after me. And He wants someone who is devoted to Him
in every way possible, to completely trust Him. That is why i chose to be HIS submissive and no one else. This is not a game for us or
a role play exercise. This is who we are at our core. And that is why it works. It is not always easy. There are days neither one of us
wants to be in the roles that we chose. There are periods where it falls by the wayside because of personal situations ( I lost my father in May), or work.
It is normal. It is a taxing decision to be in a D/s relationship. But it is worth it. At least i think so. In the past i always was thinking
of how to make my partner happy, over-thinking ( we women do this a lot) things during sex and not enjoying myself. i don’t have this problem anymore.
Everything is decided for me. i can focus on me and Him. That’s it that’s all. His pleasure comes from having me serve Him in whatever way He wants.
And i get the strong, dominant man i have always craved. There is nothing more satisfying then when He comes home and throws me on the bed, lifts my ass up
and taking me because it is His right to. I cannot say no ( not that i ever really want to). Or to have Him push me against the wall and open my legs while He
uses His tongue to show me who i belong to.

I belong to Him, but that does not mean i am not my own person. There have been many times where we clash or get frustrated at each other.
This is never gonna be easy, but i don’t want easy. I want rough, i want the storms and  the darkness that comes along with this. i am
finally satisfied and happy, all because of Him.

Me and My Hard Limits

Hard Limits

It is important to identify what your hard limits are before engaging in anything. My own hard limits are really the most extreme situations possible
in a BDSM scenario. Make sure that your Dom understands your hard limits and why you dislike them or why they are harmful to you.

As i mentioned before i dislike anything that has to do with public humiliation. So that means exhibitionism for me. i like dressing up for Master
and that is it. If He decides to put me on display it is usually in skimpy outfits or slinky dresses on nights out. i battle body image issues all the time
and so i become extremely uncomfortable with the thought of people staring at me.

I have included a list of my hard limits below. Thankfully my Master shares similar hard limits.
1. Exhibitionism
2. Any kind of body fluid play ( urine, feces, vomit etc) with the exception of Masters cum.
3. Asphyxiation: i would like to clarify this one somewhat. i am very turned on by cloth gags, a hand around my neck. But i do not enjoy ball gags, masks, plastic bags or nooses. i don’t feel safe engaging in things like this. Some people do.
4. Animal play….i am not a pony
5. Enemas, examinations, stomach pumping. If your not a medical practitioner don’t do it to me.
6. Swinging: i do not mind engaging in threesomes with my Master however i am not to be shared with other men.

This being said my preferences tend to run a little dark. These include:

1. Knife play: when done properly it can be very sexy and thrilling to feel a knife slicing off your panties or a bra strap.
2. Pain. i have a fairly high tolerance for pain. I like whips, paddles, bare hands, chains, riding crops, hot wax. This is what gets me
really turned on and crazy when i am with Master.
3. Rape/ Non Consent. Let me be very specific. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS IN REAL LIFE!! N O MEANS NO! But when i am with Master and this is something
that we have agreed to before i like to be forced to serve Him. To kneel and take Him in my mouth or to feel Him force my legs open and  tear
my clothes.
4. Costumes. Pretty much everything and anything
5. Slave. That is what i am to my Master. i don’t necessarily clean and cook. But when i come home i get into something sexy and wait for Him to
decide what He wants to do. Whether that is to fuck me right then and there or wait. Or tease me. He owns me. And with that comes protection, caring and
thoughtfulness on His part. But i serve Him totally. There are very few things i can say no to.

**Make sure that everything is discussed prior to engaging in anything. If  you didn’t agree to it or He / She ignores the hard limits you have the right to speak up. This applies to Doms as well. Discuss with your Dom what their hard limits as well and make sure to respect them too.*****

Beginning Your Journey

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Once you have made a decision to become a submissive and enter into a relationship with a Dom it is important to establish what you both want in the relationship.

The number one most important thing to remember is CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT.  You need to be made aware of what you are agreeing to and what being His submissive will entail. If you want to be hog tied covered in honey and hit with a cattle prod fine. As long as you agree to it. Contracts are usually the most common form of insuring boundaries and rules are followed. Too often submission is mistaken for being a doormat. You are allowed to say no.

Whether you are in a committed relationship with your Dom like I am or it is a casual arrangement where you are not the only one it is imperative that you look out for yourself. First and foremost you need to enjoy yourself as well. This is as much about your pleasure as it is his/hers. A Dominant knows that by allowing them total control over you and your pleasure you are giving them a great deal of power. But they are giving you power too. It takes a great deal of self-control to be a Dom. To be able to reign in ones urges and instincts in a session ( although it is fun to let them come out). In order to ensure your safety they must be in control at all times and aware of how things are playing out. AT NO POINT SHOULD YOU BE FEARFUL OF YOUR MASTER. More often than not a Dom puts their pleasure second to yours to guarantee a safe session. This can be extremely difficult especially if the submissive is unaware of how hard she/ he is being used or if they are not sure of their pain tolerance/ limits. These are often known as hard limits and your Dom should never try and surpass these. And despite what you may think, everyone has them.

My Master has had to stop several sessions because I could not tell that I was bleeding and chaffed from the restraints or I wasn’t breathing properly. If at any point your Dom ignores this, does not respect the safe word or refuses to respect your boundaries it is vital that you leave immediately. There is no joy in being with someone who is abusive and who doesn’t recognize what a valuable gift you are giving them.A Dom gets their pleasure from controlling yours, not withholding it.

You are their prize/ trophy, you should be treated as such. Anytime a session involves pain or discipline there needs to be a period of time when your Dom attends to you. Whether that means massaging your arms and legs where the restraints were, to applying a balm to areas inflamed by spanking or paddling. It is important that you are looked after.

Discuss boundaries before getting involved in anything. It is not a free for all for your Master to do as they please whenever they please. Communicate what it is you are looking for from this relationship and find out what they want as well. My Master knows that I dislike any form of public humiliation and so my punishments are carried out once we are home. I enjoy the anticipation of waiting to be disciplined by Him and it makes it that much more pleasurable. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. You need to discover what you like and dislike. Your Dom should respect this and follow it.

***** This is my opinion and what I think is important. Communication and respect is the biggest thing to look for*****

What To Expect

Photo by adamr. Published on 04 October 2012 http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Photo by adamr. Published on 04 October 2012
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Not everyone will understand your lifestyle choice and that’s ok. Unfortunately there is still so much stigma surrounding BDSM. Too many people assume it is a world of torture or abnormalities. When talking to your friends or family ( should you choose to ) it is important to clarify what being a submissive means to you. It is not necessary to go into details about your actual sex life (unless you feel the need to ). Explain why you chose to pursue that lifestyle, how it makes you feel, what aspects interest you. The most common question I get is why? Why I allow someone to control me, hurt me. I explain to them that my Dom doesn’t hurt me in the same way that they think He does. The pain he inflicts as punishment is within the boundaries of what I can handle and is never used without reason.  I gain pleasure from it and my Dom knows this. He is controlled in everything that He does to me. And in return I serve Him and allow Him to take charge.

Be open to questions ( you will get a lot of them) and dont be upset by their reactions. This is a taboo world you have entered and not everyone will be able to accept that.